Galatians 3:26 NKJV –

 “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.”

img_20160818_194547238          The one day I had someone telling me that he had to fill out a questionnaire for a program he was trying to get into. He went on to explain that he was having trouble answering the one question. Out of curiosity I asked him what the question was.

          He replied that the one section said, In the space provided below answer the following question. Who are you? His reaction was, “How do I answer that? How do I explain who I am?”

          We went on to have a conversation about first reading everything closely to see in what sense they were asking the question. I offered for example, if they are speaking about your employment or skills then you might reply a plumber, electrician, or anything like that. Now if they are asking you about your beliefs you may reply a Christian, but then you have to figure out exactly what you believe about yourself to explain it further.

          Later that day I thought to myself that it was a great question and set me on the road to think how I would answer that question myself. How would you answer that? Have you ever sat down to contemplate who you are? Really, take a look at yourself as a person, as a Christian, or as a believer. What do you see?

          Over the next two months I thought about it from time to time. I didn’t want to just sit down and have a self-discovery session like cramming for a test. I let the question come to the surface, turned it over in my mind a few times, looked at it from different angles, then let it sink again till the next time. I wasn’t under any deadline for an answer so it did not matter.

          Some of the things I came up with were interesting. I first thought I could just say I’m a Christian, but was I really? It was an easy answer and I could fit the definition of a Christian.  Most dictionaries would define it as one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ.

          That was me, but what else was I. In the sense of being a person I was a man. Fairly obvious, but now jump to husband and father. I have been a husband and father for over twenty years. I was mostly good at both, but have stumbled at times like most people. I can say I have been much better since I have renewed my relationship with Jesus and His Father.

          I could next look at my original family and bring up brother and son. As a young child I was very erratic. I wasn’t a bad person, but I was a typical poke the bear kind of kid. I would get bored easily and spend time irritating those around me almost like a game. After my Mom and Dad got divorced and I did step up in some ways to help keep the house running.

          When you look at it in the family sense you could drive deep into Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and even friends. Then add in everyone on my wife’s side of the family the list would get pretty lengthy.

          I could spend an equal amount of time trying to cover everything in my professional and personal realms as well. I retired from the Military, have held numerous positions in 23 years at my current job, I have volunteered and won awards while coaching several teams. I could make a nice little list here to go along with my family list.

          Does all this matter? In many ways yes, but in the grand scheme of things, not really. I looked back and noticed that I spent a lot of years in the pursuit of happiness, but deep downs couldn’t say if I was really happy. Many times there was a void that just wasn’t being filled. Not by people, not by my career, and certainly not by any awards.

At best there were brief moments of contentment and joy mostly surrounding my family and children. Then as the responsibilities of life and the pressures of the real world increased that would fade. My hot and cold running relationship with God didn’t help either.

At one point I was so keyed into the church I was going to. There every weekend and volunteered to help with several things and activities. Then the priest changed and things slowly started to slip. By the third change my slide was altered into a search. I started questioning everything again.

I was falling into doubt as to if I was ever saved, if I really believed, and was I anything other than a miserable sinner. My search lead me in a few interesting directions, but none more enlightening than Christian music. I soon found a message that was just about praising the Lord and was so uplifting.

I started listening as much as I could and even planned to attend my first concert. I could tell that the wind was changing in a very positive direction. I started looking at thing a little differently and I was becoming more patient with people and situations that would irritate me to anger. This new journey was becoming exhilarating.

My first Christian concert was so overwhelming that it was difficult for me to explain how I felt afterwards. I began reading more, studying more, and continued to listen and attend concerts.

By the time I hit my third concert I couldn’t run or hide anymore. The message touched me so deeply that I knew had to finally give myself completely to the Lord. Afterwards I knew that something had changed and I could feel the Holy Spirit.

I have continued to mature in my faith and I know that God has a plan for me. I have learned to listen and watch for his guidance, especially when His Spirit prompts me and guides my hand. It has been two months since I first heard the question and now I have a better answer for Who I am. 

Please enjoy the poem “Who I am” in the Poem Section (Spanish version in the SP. Poems Section).

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